Saturday, November 2, 2013

Keep Loving

Unconditional love.  We all talk about it.  But, do we truly understand it?  And do we ever truly give it?

I am finally learning to love without expectations, and without condition. Because love with conditions isn't really love at all. Conditions are nothing but fear. And fear and love are opposites, and can not co-exist.

When you say "I'll love you as long as you don't mess up," you are really saying, "I'll love you as long as you don't make me feel worthless, because truly, that's what I fear."  We fear that we're less than, so when someone treats us in a way that encourages that belief, we take our love back.  But, when we realize we are equal to--never more or less than--everyone and anyone else, then we know that we don't have to expect anything in return for our love.  I can love people who hurt me, because I am valuable, my heart is whole, and their actions don't and can't change that.

This is what I'm thinking:  Love is like a postcard with pre-paid postage.  It costs nothing to send.  And even if I don't get a letter back from that person, my mailbox is already full.  It's full with the love of God, with the love I give myself, and with the love of the people I am blessed to have in my life.  In fact, my mailbox is continually filled, every time I allow myself to receive love.  If someone I send a postcard to chooses not to respond, that's okay.  The letters are still coming in.  I just have to remain ready and willing to get the mail.  And I have to keep sending the postcards out, even to those who don't respond, because that's why I'm here.  That's why we're all here.  We were put here with an endless supply of these postcards.  And what good is a postcard that you never send? 

Does that mean you keep sending love to the friend who has been cruel to you?  YES.  It doesn't mean you keep accepting their cruelty, but you keep loving them.  Does that mean you keep loving a partner who disrespects you?  YES.  It doesn't mean you allow them to be in your life, your home, or your thoughts, but you keep loving them.  Because we were given all these postcards, and we have to send them out.  The message on the back may change.  Their position and role in our life may change.  But, the love should not. 

I'm going to keep loving.  And I'm going to stop worrying about and waiting to get something in return.  I'm going to stop feeling entitled to receive love in return, or feeling like a victim when I don't.  I love because that's why I am here, not because I need the validation.  I know that the mailbox--that my heart--is already full. And more letters are already on their way. 

Love you,